Buttcicles

I ventured out to my bike after work earlier this week. It was cold and had been misting / sprinkling / sleeting all day. I was taken aback to observe that a fine layer of ice coated the top of my seat and icicles hung from it's perimeter majestically. I did not have my camera so was unable to record this image for your pleasure. As I stared at this icy spectacle one thing but kept running through my mind...

"it's gonna be a cold a$$ ride home!"

Upon closer inspection of my frigid steed, I noticed that this fine sheen of ice and accompanying icicles also covered my top tube, handlebars, pedals and brakes. Using my fist, I broke away what ice I could. It was no easy task and no matter how much I wailed upon my bike, it was not entirely effective. I finally managed to chip away enough ice to mount my lights, get the brakes in some semblance of working order and transform the surface of my pedals to something less than an ice skating rink.

On the ride home, my warm a$$ was effective at melting the ice that remained on my seat so that I was treated with a nice big wet spot on my posterior. Conscious of this as I stopped at the grocery store, I took of my jacket and tied it around my waist. I didn't want the other patrons to take notice and their imaginations run wild. Thus erroneously concluding, with disgust, that I was not in full control of my faculties.